I just don’t fit in 

Sisters ,  Have you ever had a time in your life you felt you just didn’t fit in ? It could have been at work , clubs , or churches , maybe just in life general . I certainly have and it took a long look at myself to see I didn’t have to “fit in “.

As a child growing up in a mid size town in KY , I struggled with fitting in most of my childhood and into adulthood  . We didn’t have much growing up but we grateful for what we did have . I didn’t have many friends as a kid and as I grew older it became harder for me to make new friends . I never understood why it was so difficult for me  . I always had in the back of my mind it was because we didn’t have what most kids had and I was just the ” poor ugly kid ” and the ” nobody ” . 

Time went by and I started college . I , the awkward kid still had the problem of not fitting in anywhere .  By this time I felt like something was really wrong with me . ” I’m I that weird ” was the question always on my mind.

I was taking an EMT class and one day I was at my place . This was me !  I met new people that had the same type of thinking as I did . I know that sounds odd but it does take a different person to do ambulance work , that’s why I fit in .  I finished my degree and worked as a critical care Paramedic.. I found were I fit … I thought

As years went by I started to have that self esteem and thoughts of I didn’t belong . I was different . I was not the girlie type , or the popular type , I didn’t know what type I was . I did know all I ever wanted to do was to help people even when I couldn’t help myself . I was lost .  I fell into the game of trying to fit in and started living a hard life . I fit in alright ,I fit into the life of a horrible person that placed me into a dark and destructive time in my life.  I left Jesus behind and  I felt dead inside.

It took me many , many years to find myself  and to see what was important . It took me hitting the bottom of all things possible to see God did not make me to ” fit in ” . He made me to STAND OUT !

I placed my life into the hands of God and I confessed my sins , hit my knees,  and accepted  Jesus . I knew the very moment I felt the Holy Spirit touch my heart.  I knew I was saved !!!  I was no longer the weird kid that didn’t fit in .. I was a child of God ! I was the daughter of a King !

My new Journey in life has been such a story of its own  . I see that my life has never been made for me to fit into the crowd. It was to stand out , to care for others in away that many couldn’t.  I now know my way of thinking and my own spirit was made this way by God.  I shine in my own way .

As JESUS  speaks in  Matthew 5 : 14 , 15 ( NLT) speaks

14  You are the light of the world- like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden . 

15 No one lights a lamp and then puts it understand a basket . Instead,  a lamp is placed on a stand where it gives light to everyone in the house. 


I figured out I was not awkward nor weird,  I was me . I was not to be like others . Those years of trying to be something I was not made me awkward . I did have struggles as a kid on into my adult years but I see now I was not the ” nobody ”  I had thought for so many years..

God had his plans for me set many years ago and I just worried about things of this world and how to fit in it.

John 15 : 19 ( NLT)

The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it , but you are no longer part of the world,  so it hates you . 


Today , I have come across a few times I didn’t fit in and I was very receptive and ok with this . I did not put on the facade of a life of society.  I stood out on my own , with Jesus with me all the way . I didn’t want to fit in .  If I have to fit in to a situation it tells me I don’t need to be there . After I dissolved this situation I was disliked but this was a worldly matter . The light of Jesus gave me what I needed to see past the world and to see into the love of my Lord . I followed the lead of the Lord . 

Remember in life you are somebody , pay no attention to fitting it . The old saying ” if your not somebody you are nobody ” is not true  , to me it is one false saying .. 

 

 

You accept Jesus my brothers and sisters , then you are a child of God!!! That’s somebody !!!  That’s all you need to be !!! 

 

Jesus did not fit in … Jesus stood out !!!!!!!

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